PREFERABLY AUTHENTIC
A Story of Survival, Healing, Faith, and Becoming
A HEAPING OF HURT
That’s how it begins.
You would think surviving the projects would make the most resilient, unbreakable thing. Then life rallies an unbelievable score so impressive that you can’t do anything but break.
1,987,271 pieces break.
An abusive stepfather.
An absent biological one.
Some days, and sometimes not enough to go around.
A never-ending love of a mother.
Turf wars of an older brother.
Domestic violence strikes your oldest sister.
Battle after battle after battle.
Like Kendrick said, “be it will or the wheel alignment.”
I made it.
I CAN’T BREATHE
Misplaced emotions bled from one woman onto another, rotting her soul, creating biological warfare.
I catch my breath.
The fall out of love yet again.
I lose my little brother.
I can’t breathe.
I’m so close to the bag I can taste it.
Friends, deception.
Family, deception.
I can’t breathe!
The weight of failure, like an anchor to a cargo ship, laid on my chest.
Drugs.
The thoughts of suicide.
My grandmother’s call.
Ten miles of tears.
I’m still here.
THE MIDNIGHT HOUR
In the midnight hour, on the line with God:
“What am I good for?”
“What can you use me for?!?”
“When you heal yourself, you will heal others.”
1,987,271 PIECES
The vessel shatters.
1,987,271 pieces.
“I love you, son. We will start over.”
PREFERABLY AUTHENTIC
Preferably Authentic is about not running from you.
It’s truth without form.
It’s knowing that God doesn’t make mistakes and that everything you go through and everything about you is of value.
Preferably Authentic is not about knowing you’re pretty.
It’s about knowing you’re beautiful.